A Hybrid for Clinton's Secret Service

Making the rounds on the news sites today was a press release from Ford, announcing that the company is donating a Mercury Mariner hybrid to Ex-POTUS Bill Clinton, for his Secret Service.

The first "presidential hybrid", the special edition Mariner will include some special custom features designed especially for Bill Clinton which have not been publicized, for security reasons.

• Red LED arrays provide soft red mood lighting
• Radar reflecting paint, allowing the vehicle to go "off radar" when necessary
  
• A black lacquered cigar box will present illegal Cuban cigars at the press of a button
• The rear bench has been replaced with pair of buckets which when folded down reveal an inflatable matress
• The glass and doors are extra thick, to drown out the sound of Hillary, and deflect flying furniture
• Darkly tinted windows provide privacy
• Special stain resistant synthetic upholstery, to repel McDonalds special sauce and other stains
• A special telematics system, invented by Al Gore
• The I-4 gasoline engine has been replaced with a french-fry (or chitlin) grease burning diesel